North Korea, Best Korea!
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
So many bounce houses so little time
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
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