I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
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