Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
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