Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
if only i could text you this smell
if i died would you start the facebook group?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
Randomize