Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
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