so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
We just shotgunned beers for America
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
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