rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
Randomize