I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
Randomize