Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
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