I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
you're hired as official boob wrangler
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
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