Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
Funniest shit happened at the grocery store. This kid kept asking his mom for candy over and over and she told him 'daddy said no' and he screamed 'he isn't my dad' so loud everyone in the store was silent it was awesome.
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
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