honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
Randomize