she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize