Please don't use social media to get back at me.
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
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I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
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We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
Randomize