Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like a drive thru vagina
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize