i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
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