You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
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