first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Randomize