i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Randomize