It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
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