I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
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