I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
its liver damage thursday
Randomize