so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
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