I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
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