It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm experimenting with sincerity
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize