i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
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you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
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