I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
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