When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
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the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
I currently don't understand fingers.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
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