Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
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