...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
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