with your own penis?
drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
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