I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
we're making bets on your personal life
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
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Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
tell me about the fingering
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