Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
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