I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
Somewhere out there, on several phones belonging to strangers, exists a video of me rapping Baby Got Back on stage in four inch heels that I stole from the drag queen. Also I made out with the chick with the octopus tattoo.
You have the best birthdays
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
Randomize