I murdered the dance floor call the cops
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
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