i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
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