Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
Don't EVER smell your tampon
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
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