I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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