I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
Randomize