I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
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