I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Randomize