Texts From Last Night

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  (810): View more from Michigan

  I'm laying in your front yard are you home

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  (810): I'm laying in your front yard are you home http://tfl.nu/8whw
  Replies (4) Good night (1241) Bad night (390) Order T-Shirt
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  (408): View more from California

  the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW

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  (408): the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW http://tfl.nu/xrjr
  Replies (9) Good night (689) Bad night (2099) Order T-Shirt
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  (231): View more from Michigan

  i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.

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  (231): i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am. http://tfl.nu/2854
  Replies (26) Good night (460) Bad night (2508) Order T-Shirt
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  (845): View more from New York

  It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.

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  (845): It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot. http://tfl.nu/ztf1
  Replies (69) Good night (4115) Bad night (674)
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  (913): View more from Kansas

  He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.

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  (913): He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me. http://tfl.nu/hd8j
  Replies (36) Good night (671) Bad night (4160) Order T-Shirt
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  (480): View more from Arizona

  I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"

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  (480): I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues" http://tfl.nu/4mvg
  Replies (26) Good night (4096) Bad night (1890) Order T-Shirt
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  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me

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  (215): i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me http://tfl.nu/j6i2
  Replies (13) Good night (1236) Bad night (3685) Order T-Shirt
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  (757): View more from Virginia

  I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps

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  (757): I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps http://tfl.nu/vrde
  Replies (4) Good night (2917) Bad night (975) Order T-Shirt
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  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.

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  (401): I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails. http://tfl.nu/8vyo
  Replies (10) Good night (3751) Bad night (1357)
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  (415): View more from California

  I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.

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  (415): I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward. http://tfl.nu/lmmj
  Replies (6) Good night (1052) Bad night (3351) Order T-Shirt
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  (705): View more from Ontario

  I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.

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  (705): I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler. http://tfl.nu/mskj
  Replies (6) Good night (2517) Bad night (627) Order T-Shirt
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  (443): View more from Maryland

  Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order

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  (443): Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order http://tfl.nu/s460
  Replies (4) Good night (1081) Bad night (482) Order T-Shirt
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  (925): View more from California

  All I want is tacobeell and your body

  (1-925): View more from California

  that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.

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  (925): All I want is tacobeell and your body (1-925): that's my favorite sentence you've ever said. http://tfl.nu/3boc
  Replies (8) Good night (2719) Bad night (867) Order T-Shirt
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  (859): View more from Kentucky

  I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!

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  (859): I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms! http://tfl.nu/ase3
  Replies (4) Good night (1317) Bad night (426) Order T-Shirt
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  (937): View more from Ohio

  I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.

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  (937): I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina. http://tfl.nu/hc91
  Replies (27) Good night (2334) Bad night (377)

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