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I'm laying in your front yard are you home
the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
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