I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
Nobody cheats on THIS.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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