I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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