My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
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