Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
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