OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
you scattered cereal all over the floor so you could "re-trace your steps and figure out what happened." 20 min later you yelled about the mess and let the dog in to clean it up. 5 min after that you screamed since the cereal was gone. you suspected me and locked me in the bathroom so i could "think about what i'd done"
and you bit everyone who tried to let me out. no more tequila for you. EVER.
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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