Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
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