So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
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He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
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