Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
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